Its an old story with me... Sometimes i am outside taking a walk, trying to mentally sort things out, only to find that my mind is also in constant purposeless motion like my legs. Dont know where i wanted to go, maybe i had known once but the fog is really so thick in december , that i cant find my way now. I want to do something but dont know what it is so i read a few books and then pass a few exams too.......But that didnt make me happy. I tried to think but i wasnt really good at it and i kept on hearing a thumping noise which bothered me.
I was jst becoming sad cause i had no idea from where the answers would come from when i saw the bright cherub- the one who lives in my heart and oh- so -very rarely makes her appearence in my mind sometimes. I asked " cherub cant you stop this thumping noise so that i can figure out where i am supposed to be?" She only laughed " silly girl....... dont u know thats the sound of your own beating heart" listen to it... it will take you home.
But my heart is where my home is, or was it the other way round? i wonder........
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Monday, December 29, 2008
jst got thinking......
hello people
I had wanted to see akshardham for such a long-long time and after a dozen (plans- gone-haywire) i finally saw it yesterday.:) And the effect on us was mesmerizing...... Dont get me wrong, it was not because the deities brought about a sudden fervor in me. (in fact i totally adore the metaphysical concept called GOD but me not religious at all) . It was the sheer beauty of the sculpture.... the perfection of those lines , the expressions which brought the cold marble to life ; every single murti was different- right from the arrogant expressions on the kings face to the ethereal goddesses who were in profusion. Maybe because it was the first time we saw akshardham , me and aparna were totally lost in the sheer magnifecence of the sculpture; when a few shoves and pushes brought us back to life. Then i noticed something strange, people were staring straight ahead just concentrating on the deity and not even stopping to look at the beauty around them. I saw something more sad. There was a young couple pushing their child on a pram inside the temple. Akshardham is not jst a temple, its a work of art ... i cant understand do we allow the public to bring prams inside the taj, the jama masjid or to any of our other historical monuments.
And what by the way are historical monuments and why are we in constant awe of them? Lets consider the Taj, when i saw it for the first time i was spellbounded. But does history always has to be put on a pedestal and the present carelessly squandered? People say the taj is an everlasting monument of love. I think its an everlasting monument to human talent that built it- those50,000 artists who lost their hands. While shah jahan was simply someone with adequate financial resources to fulfill his needs for self actualization, (all fellow mba's refer to maslows pyramid please)
But the world thundered..... this is history, cant you see. Its the absolute limit to all human abilities, which we can never now think of touching, much rather surpassing it. All that lies of our greatness now resides in our past and the past is holy and cannot be challenged. We should not think in any of these directions but just make a bed out of all feathers in our cap and then sleep peacefully. The taj is the absolute limit of artistic expression.
Expression? but whose expression ? Every building or monument has a purpose and a goal and the expression of every ones goal is different. why must something be sacred just by the virtue of our not creating it? why should the present pool of talent be restricted by the absolute dictates of the past? why must every principle and everyone be right as long as it is not us?why is accepting dictates of these "others" so very important? i dont know. i have never known. i would like to understand...........
Sorry if i have ruffled a few feathers. T'was not intentional.
I had wanted to see akshardham for such a long-long time and after a dozen (plans- gone-haywire) i finally saw it yesterday.:) And the effect on us was mesmerizing...... Dont get me wrong, it was not because the deities brought about a sudden fervor in me. (in fact i totally adore the metaphysical concept called GOD but me not religious at all) . It was the sheer beauty of the sculpture.... the perfection of those lines , the expressions which brought the cold marble to life ; every single murti was different- right from the arrogant expressions on the kings face to the ethereal goddesses who were in profusion. Maybe because it was the first time we saw akshardham , me and aparna were totally lost in the sheer magnifecence of the sculpture; when a few shoves and pushes brought us back to life. Then i noticed something strange, people were staring straight ahead just concentrating on the deity and not even stopping to look at the beauty around them. I saw something more sad. There was a young couple pushing their child on a pram inside the temple. Akshardham is not jst a temple, its a work of art ... i cant understand do we allow the public to bring prams inside the taj, the jama masjid or to any of our other historical monuments.
And what by the way are historical monuments and why are we in constant awe of them? Lets consider the Taj, when i saw it for the first time i was spellbounded. But does history always has to be put on a pedestal and the present carelessly squandered? People say the taj is an everlasting monument of love. I think its an everlasting monument to human talent that built it- those50,000 artists who lost their hands. While shah jahan was simply someone with adequate financial resources to fulfill his needs for self actualization, (all fellow mba's refer to maslows pyramid please)
But the world thundered..... this is history, cant you see. Its the absolute limit to all human abilities, which we can never now think of touching, much rather surpassing it. All that lies of our greatness now resides in our past and the past is holy and cannot be challenged. We should not think in any of these directions but just make a bed out of all feathers in our cap and then sleep peacefully. The taj is the absolute limit of artistic expression.
Expression? but whose expression ? Every building or monument has a purpose and a goal and the expression of every ones goal is different. why must something be sacred just by the virtue of our not creating it? why should the present pool of talent be restricted by the absolute dictates of the past? why must every principle and everyone be right as long as it is not us?why is accepting dictates of these "others" so very important? i dont know. i have never known. i would like to understand...........
Sorry if i have ruffled a few feathers. T'was not intentional.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
christ-mes-sy thoughts
merry christmas to all the wonderful people here....... Well i just had a beautiful christmas eve. The air has a crisp chilly smell to it and the world seems to have burst into a profusion of colours-red, green, purple, fuschia........ sweaters. And there were three girls doing their most preffered activity ---shopping. I mean now that i think of it the way we shop is quite amusing. I mean go to a shop, check out something like 24 sweaters, turn around and then fall madly in love with the green curtains hanging in the shop jst across the street and then go there and buy it. The best part was our hunt for that perfect christmas star...well combining the fact that gincy wanted ONLY pastel coloured paper stars and the fact that nothing of this kind was available throughout the entire Atta market. Well finally we got hold of one which met her stringent requirements. And by the way the shops today looked like they had just descended here fron never-never land.It was all decked up bells and wreaths and so many santas with rosy cheeks smiling down on us,
There was somebody here who badly wanted to go home but then didnt get flight tickets . Somebody who was sad and not quite like her usual self today. And then there were five other would- be managers all trying to cheer her up and so they had this brilliant idea of organising a christmas party. Limited resources so they made up whatever was lacking by their imagination, and one of them even captured that special christmas snow effect with cotton wisps.:) amidst the cute little christmas tree which they decorated the smiles returned on the "sad" ones face and she actually became the loudest singer " in the impomptu pajama party. As the strains of "silent night holy night "floated in the air - all voices at varied pitches blending together in flushes of laughter- the true spirit of christmas was realized. case in point being ,i love my new lime green curtains but happy smiles decorate a room better.
hats of to all of us who were there 2day. who says we need to complete our mba to become managers.Huh!
I
There was somebody here who badly wanted to go home but then didnt get flight tickets . Somebody who was sad and not quite like her usual self today. And then there were five other would- be managers all trying to cheer her up and so they had this brilliant idea of organising a christmas party. Limited resources so they made up whatever was lacking by their imagination, and one of them even captured that special christmas snow effect with cotton wisps.:) amidst the cute little christmas tree which they decorated the smiles returned on the "sad" ones face and she actually became the loudest singer " in the impomptu pajama party. As the strains of "silent night holy night "floated in the air - all voices at varied pitches blending together in flushes of laughter- the true spirit of christmas was realized. case in point being ,i love my new lime green curtains but happy smiles decorate a room better.
hats of to all of us who were there 2day. who says we need to complete our mba to become managers.Huh!
I
Monday, December 22, 2008
crimson ties.......
Another exam over. wow again:) jst one more to go. Me and nams are currently somewhere on the peak of our efficiency curve, the number of chapters to be studied dont daunt us, we jst keep on sorting and piling everything on to our minds. Thats another matter that the retention ratio is about 25%. Seriously if someone does a survey- on the percentage of time mba students spend in studying we would come somewhere near the bottom of the list that is if u sort and arrange the data in a descending order.
BDW what am i writing? See this is what comes out of studying so much of terrible subjects like stats and finance at the last moment. Need to watch a movie fast in order to purify my brain.
People here in my college are rushing by today with glowing faces all filled with the joy of going home as soon as this one- last-final-akhri exam gets over. Thier excitement is palpable and i too feel a rush of warmth in my heart looking at this scene. See i come from a far- away land and for me going and coming back would comsume all my hols and more... so poor me:(
Which reminds me of the last time i went home. It was 7 days of pure bliss for me. When i was in high s chool i was somewhat a rebel. It was as if every sentence my parents spoke i had to rebel. Time has mellowed me down and now i can grasp- only grasp mind you and not comprehend the totally selfless devoted way in which they love me. Isnt it wonderful , i have two people in the world who belong totally to me. I always careless, forgetting to call, sometimes irritable, snapping back specially at my mom. Sometimes i am so caught up here in my own world that i do not even think of them for times together. An hour ago i stubbed my toe against the table and the first word which escaped my lips was "maa". It was then that i realized how much i miss them and sometimes i feel that it was in those times that i had not thought of them; that i had missed them the most. In our lives we see a range of relationships, from totally chilled out friendships to paissonate affairs to deep filial bonds. As we grow older we start spending more time and our world starts revolving around these people while our parents occupy a backseat in our minds.
Until the day we accidentally stub our toe.
This one was for you maa and baba though i know you dont read blogs.........
BDW what am i writing? See this is what comes out of studying so much of terrible subjects like stats and finance at the last moment. Need to watch a movie fast in order to purify my brain.
People here in my college are rushing by today with glowing faces all filled with the joy of going home as soon as this one- last-final-akhri exam gets over. Thier excitement is palpable and i too feel a rush of warmth in my heart looking at this scene. See i come from a far- away land and for me going and coming back would comsume all my hols and more... so poor me:(
Which reminds me of the last time i went home. It was 7 days of pure bliss for me. When i was in high s chool i was somewhat a rebel. It was as if every sentence my parents spoke i had to rebel. Time has mellowed me down and now i can grasp- only grasp mind you and not comprehend the totally selfless devoted way in which they love me. Isnt it wonderful , i have two people in the world who belong totally to me. I always careless, forgetting to call, sometimes irritable, snapping back specially at my mom. Sometimes i am so caught up here in my own world that i do not even think of them for times together. An hour ago i stubbed my toe against the table and the first word which escaped my lips was "maa". It was then that i realized how much i miss them and sometimes i feel that it was in those times that i had not thought of them; that i had missed them the most. In our lives we see a range of relationships, from totally chilled out friendships to paissonate affairs to deep filial bonds. As we grow older we start spending more time and our world starts revolving around these people while our parents occupy a backseat in our minds.
Until the day we accidentally stub our toe.
This one was for you maa and baba though i know you dont read blogs.........
Saturday, December 20, 2008
lookin....backwrds..
hello people.....
wow, exams almost over:) im so happy, its almost as if the air seems much fresher and the colours all so much brighter.... and the mere anticipation of my freedom after 2 days brings a smile to my lips every time i think about it. By the way what exactly is it between me and studies, both of us mutually dislike and do our best to avoid each other. Today was my un-favouritest paper financial management. The paper was just out of the world and i actually had to read it twice to believe that somebody could set such a pain to the senses. It was a perfect weapon of torture. I did all kinds of experiments with the answer but i have this feeling that proffesor malhotra would not approve of innovation. Anyways all said and done after the exavem was over the relief visible on all the faces was visible. It was as if we had just given the best exam of our lives.Ten minutes arter the paper we were back to our normal funny selves
Which leads me to wonder.... isnt life so transient? Our greatest sorrows and greatest happiness of our past lives look so ordinary now that we think of it. Remember the first time i rode a bycycle, my first poem, first prize..... oh and yes first time i cooked. I remember how my dad ate the half burnt food with such pure contentment on his face. I will never forget the feeling of elation inside me as if i owned the world. Then there was also my first rejection letter, first red mark on my paper also......my first heartbreak. I had cried as if i would die the next day. And now that i think of it i laugh at both memories. Time is such a great equalizer.... wrapping up every memory in rose pink leaves of nostalgia. All that i believe in now, every feeling, every achievement that i am so passionate about now, this surge of emotion, would this too become pressed flowers which i would fondly caress after ten years?
my first blog in blogger dedicated to the person who created this account for me. Thank you nams..
wow, exams almost over:) im so happy, its almost as if the air seems much fresher and the colours all so much brighter.... and the mere anticipation of my freedom after 2 days brings a smile to my lips every time i think about it. By the way what exactly is it between me and studies, both of us mutually dislike and do our best to avoid each other. Today was my un-favouritest paper financial management. The paper was just out of the world and i actually had to read it twice to believe that somebody could set such a pain to the senses. It was a perfect weapon of torture. I did all kinds of experiments with the answer but i have this feeling that proffesor malhotra would not approve of innovation. Anyways all said and done after the exavem was over the relief visible on all the faces was visible. It was as if we had just given the best exam of our lives.Ten minutes arter the paper we were back to our normal funny selves
Which leads me to wonder.... isnt life so transient? Our greatest sorrows and greatest happiness of our past lives look so ordinary now that we think of it. Remember the first time i rode a bycycle, my first poem, first prize..... oh and yes first time i cooked. I remember how my dad ate the half burnt food with such pure contentment on his face. I will never forget the feeling of elation inside me as if i owned the world. Then there was also my first rejection letter, first red mark on my paper also......my first heartbreak. I had cried as if i would die the next day. And now that i think of it i laugh at both memories. Time is such a great equalizer.... wrapping up every memory in rose pink leaves of nostalgia. All that i believe in now, every feeling, every achievement that i am so passionate about now, this surge of emotion, would this too become pressed flowers which i would fondly caress after ten years?
my first blog in blogger dedicated to the person who created this account for me. Thank you nams..
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