Head in the Clouds!

longest post ever...uff...:)

2011-09-07T00:21:00.000-07:00

Except for a brief appearance in Feb (due to excessive happiness attack caused by generous consumption of chocolate) I have been mostly out of bloggerworld in the past one year... There are many reasons for this disappearance but to sum up ... the elusive creature called life showed me her most unpleasant face. I was devastated, frustrated, angry, moody, irritable and spent most of my time sulking away and snapping at anybody who dared approach me. I had always believed nothing much could go wrong in my charmed existence and when it did I reacted pretty much like a little girl who didn’t get the latest version of the Barbie..... ( Sulk, sulk, sulk) I almost gave up all my favorite things... shopping..Reading...blogging....laughing in an unorganized vendetta against the world. I kept on wishing that I could change the past not realizing that the past has already changed me....Time however has a way of healing the worst scars and here I am a better, brighter, wiser and happier me. Well along with the invaluable contribution of Mr. Time there are a few other people I need to appreciate here.... the problem is most of them do not blog and will be subsequently emotionally blackmailed into reading this.... :) Here goes...
@ Debanjan Niyogi thank you for the counseling sessions , the much needed advice( even though I snapped at that ), for being there at the worst phase of my life. I know I have directed some of my worst tantrums at you.. will never be able to express how much I appreciate your sudden presence in my life...... oh and before I forget thanks for feeding me so many chocolates :)
@ Namrata Srivastava thank you for inspiring me to start blogging again. I promise my next post will be about "Purple". Those telephonic and electronic pep talks really helped.. Please start writing your book real soon.
@ Tapapriya Lahiri thank you for inspiring me to start shopping again. Only you know how incomplete I am without junk jewellery :) jokes apart thanks for being such a good friend and asking so few questions and helping me in some good therapeutic bitching.
@ Gincy S.G Thank you for coming here... it was a real treat and an amazing moral booster. am real sorry for missing ur wedding (appreciate ur understanding d reason) and promise to be ur bridesmaid should u get married again :P :p
@Debarshi Ray Thank you for coping with my periodic disappearing act and still being friends with me. Also I appreciate that u ask very few questions and need to be told so less. Am sorry I missed Ur wedding too and promise to come and eat chai biscuit as decided.

@Teddy Pathak thanks for cooking for me, making me cook, listening to all my pent up crap and letting me use ur pretty house as my haven. I miss working with u and eating ur lunch :(
@Supriyo Dey thank you for understanding me truly as I am. Always.
@Poushali Mukherjee, Samadrita Mukherjee, Sneha Banerjee.... my lovely sisters who encouraged me not to give in to pressure. And I didn’t, didn’t, DIDNT :)
@ Face book thank u... thank u... thank u... and u needn’t be told y..
@ Arjun Narayanan Yesterdays conversation triggered off this post as you made me realize how incomplete people like us are without the written word. Again please start writing . You are meant for it..

Love u all....will be back soon :)

14th april

2011-04-14T02:11:00.000-07:00

hello world.....

This is the acceptance speech. The end of anger and denial. I accept that you and I will never be the same again. That while those days will live in my mind forever, they're over. I hate it. But I accept it. And I'm moving on now.....

peek-a-boo :)

2011-02-02T21:16:00.000-08:00

Here i come again...desk stacked with a pile of papers, a horde of unwritten mails , a to- do list as long as my parrot green gypsy skirt and a perpetually disobedient mind. Well i guess this happens to the most constant and prudent of us sometimes..... but today "the other side of me" has absolutely decided to play truant. I keep on surfing irrelevant sites and giggling at all my collegues who are constantly giving me disapproving looks.
Hmmm.... lets see what would i have done today if not compelled to sit in this place for my daily bread and chocolate :)
1) Take a bus to some unknown destination with a W.H Auden book and listen to Green Day.. "Wake me up when September ends"
2) Happily consume a sizzling brownie with hot chocolate sauce oblivious to upcoming baby-fat attack.
3) Watch the sunrise... i know its not possible at 11.15 am but what the heck.... to watch the sunrise.
4) Braid my hair with yellow flowers
5) Sit near a huge fountain somewhere where the spray hits my eyes and feed pigeons.... ummm white pigeons...
I absolutely have to start working now... reality beckons.

Letters from iceland

2010-07-24T03:04:00.000-07:00

I first came across exerpts from this book in the movie Away From Her. There was something strange and alluring about the language...thus began my obsession to find it. I searched crosswordz, Om book stores, Old delhi book bazaar only to be dissapointed. However being the strangely stubborn girl that i am... i didnt give up. I pestered my boyfriend at my regular intervals till he mainly to preserve domestic peace got it reprinted from the publisher(it had gone out of print). And what a treat the book is..... charmingly funny, irreverent and vivid...believe me its a sin to have it go out of print. Here goes....

Isn't it true however far we've wandered into our provinces of persecution, where our regrets accuse, we keep returning back to the common faith from which we've all dissented, back to the hands, the feet, the faces? Children are always there and take the hands, even when they are most terrified. Those in love cannot make up their minds to go or stay. Artist and doctor return most often. Only the mad will never, never come back. For doctors keep on worrying while away, in case their skill is suffering or deserted. Lovers have lived so long with giants and elves, they want belief again in their own size. .

I am lost in iceland.W.H.Auden rocks!

a note about d freewheeling laugh

2009-11-10T21:38:00.000-08:00

friends, were you ever the victim of irrepressible mirth, convulsive laughter that creeps in at the most inoppurtune moments. Moments when you are supposed to be concentratedly focused on the enormous seriousness of the situation. You try hard to stifle down the little impish stream of giggles but they adamantly burst out noisy in thier uncaring abandon. It constantly happens with me like in.... labour law classess, convocations, poetry recitals, interviews and quite often in romantic interludes .... which sometimes leaves the other person quite mortified.
And how different is this laughter from the pseudo- pretty smile which i sport in my numerous photographs. I wear that smile as a part of my carefully assembled armour against God-knows-what and it is supposed to mean absolutely nothing at all. In fact i wear that smile when i do not care a bit about what is going on and want to show you, him, her and the rest of the world that it is, in fact very important to me.
So why is it that in all great classical paintings men and women are shown smiling perfectly and not laughing? Starting from Da Vinci to our very own Raja Ravi Verma the paintings have beautiful,peaceful,cunning,innocent,frivolous, holy,pitiful and wonderful smiles but i am yet to come across the truly thoughtlessly laughing face. How can we explain why great painters ruled out laughter from the realms of beauty?
The great artist Rubens once said "a face is beautiful beacause it reveals the presence of thought, whereas at the moment of laughter man doesnt think. "In the instant that man grasps the comical, he does not laugh; laughter follows afterwards as a physical reaction. Laughter is a convulsion of the face and a convulsed person does not rule himself either by will or reason. It is again the greatest unifier..... we differ from each other by our immovable features but in convulsion we are all the same.
On the sunny side i have seen many a quarrel ending when people give in to the dormant nudge of laughter. It is one of the few occasions on which i relax and completely forget about how photogenically disadvantaged my face looks and keep laughing till i can feel the salt of my tears against my cheeks. I am lucky to be in love with a man who appreciates the rich abandon of laughter more deeply than i do and hence i had more of these glorious moments in the recent past.But no more of this now. Customer Relationship Management class beckons and i must rush.... Have a laughably beautiful day.... cheers..

brand me new....

2009-09-09T07:50:00.000-07:00

Last weeks Mint lounge triggered off this post. There is a columunist whom i regularly follow and she had written about how people mindlessly spend on brands to keep up appearences. It reminded me of a page in my international marketing book which mentioned about a drastic dip in the sales in United States of The italian Haute Couture trio.... a la Armani, Prada and Gucci because of a new govertment rule "all products substantially modifed/manufactured should carry the name of the location of modification/manufacture. Now scarves for all these brands are made in China ( chineese silk is of uncomparable quality) but the USA consumer market was not willing to pay premium prices for products with "made in china" labels. One lady commented " i dont care if they are made in CHina, it just should not say so in the label".
That got me thinking why do people buy brands? apart from the obvious quality issues which by the way are not always applicable a brand is for the most part a status symbol. More crudely put it is " look i am so rich i use xyz brand" . Now dont get me wrong.... i am all for " if you have it you have every right to flaunt it" but if the flaunting is primarily meant for "those other people" then maybe we need a crash course in " how 2 realize that u r supercool without any props " course. Point being dont be a pseudo person ( refer Catcher in the Rye'). If you enjoy jewellery go ahead splurge, wear a different piece every day. But carrying a hideous looking Louis Vitton brown handbag with ur head full of" i know its ugly but its L.v" thoughts is what makes you a psuedo person. If you dont drink , dont stand with a glass of bubbly endlessly ( u r cool anyways, remember :) . On the other hand if you really do like it, go ahead and have one on me.

joy de' vivre .... after d storm...

2009-05-26T00:56:00.000-07:00

Dere was a big storm yesterday, here in d city of joy. Normally i enjoy windy dayss and i love the rains... but it was real scary yesterday. The windows in my office kept on rattling, making weird pseudo-ghost noises and the constant downpour had to be seen to be believed. My phone kept on ringing all day . As everybody called up, even some grumpy people who miss my birthday called up to warn me... Any ways i packed up at around 3.30 and started to leave. There were only three girls at the office. ( lemme explain i work in an hr consulting house and mostly everybody is away in client offices during office hours.) I waited for a slight lull in the rain and went out walking towards the nearby bus stop. Immediately the heavens opened up as if on cue... :( After which two things happened. 1) two straps on my uber- cool slippers broke. 2) the wind blew away my umbrella. ( dis 2 calls for an explanation, its fashion over convenience for me anyday and i am supremely indifferent towards the consequences.)
Anyways the umbrella was rescued from a nearby drain by a valiant knight without-shining- armour who happened to be standing there. The taxis were all whizzing past without stopping, buses were overstuffed to a d. I tell you , bollywood movie scenarios would not have been a match for yesterday. This is where i gave myself a pep talk.... " you can do it.. jst hold one of your broken slippers in one hand. climb up one of those overstuffed buses and GO home. you have to do it now. There is NO other choice." After 5 minutes of self- motivation i did exactly that. During the 40 minute ride home, the smell of sweat, the crushing crowd nearly made me gag. But i survived it... After that since the bus refused to go further because of a tree which blocked the way, i walked the rest of the way home.
I walked back barefoot in the rain looking like the lead actress from zee horror show but feeling strangely liberated. I always had a cocooned life... doting parents, caring boyfriend, protective friends everytime something unpleasant came up i knew somebody would take care of it. Well not anymore! Its still nice to have those somebodys around but i dont NEED them. I can take whatever life throws at me now, climb every mountain , cross every stream ( am i breaking into a song?)
I am free.... joy de' vivre :)

d return of d prodigal blogger...

2009-05-04T02:38:00.000-07:00

It has been more than 4 months during my last post. There was a phase in which i used to voraciously blog and spent a sizeable portion of my time lost in the delights of blogger-bliss. Suddenly a new phase arose in which i used to think every alternate day.... i really should blog 2day.its been long.... However strong the spirit might be the flesh resisted and i lost myself in a thousand other things.
Here i am now , halfway thru my summer internship, doing some supposedly very important work, when suddenly i have this irresistible urge to open www.blogger.com. I am completely clueless about the rationality of doing this in my office where i am not supposed to open non official sites. ( if anybody from my office is reading.... then this is not me, but my identical twin .)
Anyways, chuck it.... what i wanted to say was friends did any of you ever have this strange inexplicable need to get away from a thing,habbit, activity or person which or whom you are closely attached to . Honestly, it happens with me all the time. Dating back to my childhood days when i used to hide my blue teddy under the bed after intervals of around 5 months of inseperability. I remember not even looking at it for days and then again going back... a picture of contrite repentance.
The teddy was very understanding though and didnt snap or bite me.... However in adult life i have to deal with bruised feelings and wounded egos quite often. It usually goes on till the time people either accept me for the person i am or unable to cope up with my periodic dissapearing act they do a permanent one of their own. So many times have i tried to straighten this random zig-zag behaviour but Claustrophobia with a capital C chases me away. This need for asserting my independence after i realize the rainbow theads of affection binding me pushes me and i retreat into " i am the female equivalent of the famous rubber band theory" kind of phase.
However as i was saying did it ever happen with any of you. After all my " i am unique, independent and dont follow the beaten track " declarations are over. Its nice to know that there is somebody in a similar looking boat.

then try, try and try again...

2009-01-18T06:00:00.000-08:00

Been mostly lost in thoughts today.One could even say, i was feeling blue...... By the way, friends, why do we associate feelings of depression with the colour blue? I cant understand. Imagine blue skies with cotton candy clouds..ummm then blue-bells on a stalk or turqouise seas or babies in blue dresses.And imagine blue beads on a white dress mmm....(wanna go shopping:x ) I think blue is a joyous colour..... maybe not the sunny abundance which denotes yellow, or the wild passionate rapture of red, but the kind of happiness we feel when we hear a choir playing, or the strains of a flute or our very own jaltarang.. Before i get carried away in these musings lemme chase away the clouds for some time and tell you about the problem.
It started many years back , i was 14 , a schoolgirl.. There was this play going on in my colony on christmas eve and i had to write a report on it .( we had someone called Mr G.H Banerjee in our colony who was adressed as granpa by all the kids in the colony. He was the soul of all cultural activities there and we totally adored him.) He was constantly encouraging me to write and till date i owe much of my scant literary efforts to him.:) aneways, lets get back to the play... I watched it, enjoyed it and made a note of whatever i interpreted as funny inside it. For example the lead actor who stuttered over his lines, the actress who entered from the wrong side of the stage.. At night in my home, i sat and polished the entire report, busily adorning it with what i used to call"dry wit". We had this local newsletter kind of thing being published and the day

my article (read report) was published i was very excited. Ours was a close knit community and everybody knew everybody else and were mostly on first-name-terms with each other. The very first person to call me up and congratulate me was my friend annie. "Oh i totally adored the way u wrote, it was hilarious" Till date i remember the warm rush of pleasure i felt in myself on hearing the words. Well, then after numerous combinations and permutations of the same compliments i was feeling rather proud of myself as i walked down to the local bakery shop.

Suddenly i saw granpa standing there under his favourite krishnachura tree." Oh, how did u like my report" i asked with a bright smile. He turned, looked at me and said in a level voice"u have hurt a lot of people" I was younger then, and drunk on praise , the sudden jolt must have brought a flush to my cheeks... He must have seen it and so continued in a gentler voice "you are young, talented and so have a lot of strength in you. if u use the same strength to build instead of pulling something down, imagine how beautiful your world would become. whatever u wrote in that report would be forgotten by you in a week, but the people you criticised would always remember it--and not in a very nice way."

Granpas advice stayed with me for a lot of time, i was always careful henceforth on the way i used words. But as i said time is a great equalizer, in my exciting jrney from college to work to b school now, i must have unlearnt the lesson. After a round of (What i thought was incisive) discussion in the training and developement classes, i detected a hint of chill in the atmosphere, and no, it was not because of the weather. Come, evening and one of my good friends(d name is secret though) told me "u know u have this ability to put ur points in a effective manner, and ur voice has this attractive element in it.... but the saddest thing is that u use it to pull people down and hence u are converting ur biggest strength into ur biggest weakness".

And i was again transformed into the 14 year old kid under the krishnachura tree. Old habbits die hard i guess and i must try again...... It takes a lot of love and care between 2 people for one to point out mistakes to the other unhesistatingly. Thank u dear friend for caring so much....:)

a brief history of my tyme...

2009-01-12T10:14:00.000-08:00

dear me... i seem to be becoming lazier, and lazier..ummm have been meaning to write for so many days. but then u know what, i jst got hold of the second season of F.R.I.E.N.D.S from somewhere and since i have been bewitched by Joey the first time i laid my eyes on him, so i was kinda busy...;)

Hey speaking of friends (i mean my real life friends) i miss some of them quite a lot. Waise, dont u think as we grow older we become reserved, less spontaneous, more choosy, less open and wear about 1001 masks ? I mean i can feel the change in myself, i can no longer relate to people as easily as i could say, five years ago.There is this newly developed tendency in me of being judgemental, sizing people up ( though i rarely admit it) I mean, i used to believe that people are essentially as good as we expect them to be. Set up high standards and let them know, they would live upto it. I still believe this i guess, its jst that i follow it lesser and lesser.

Speaking about friends my first real n one-of-d-best kinds of friendship was with Raheela (this would be fifth grade in school) Our friendship blossomed thru endless shared tiffins, scraped knees and copied homeworks. I still dont know, but how we completely lost touch with each other...last that i heard she was married.The funniest part is that she is the only one in my very very special list of friends about whose wherabouts i am completely clueless..Then there was kalpana,supriyo, junaid, vishal, zeenat,charan, avik.. I remember the way we used to bunk classes together, the delicious jhal muri, specially the way i and kalpana used to copy from each other at exams.Supriyo thank you for those biology diagrams, i could have never managed them on my own.. Junaid, i am sure that u dont blog at all but i miss ur one-liners like hell. Zeenat, vishal i miss those impromptu antakshari sessions a lot.

Well speed up to my grads my roomies were and still are my best friends. Tap and mou (Tapapriya and mahua).I could go on writing pages about them and still not finish. We had this wonderfull routine of having phuchkas for breakfast and watching cheesy bollywood movies. Oh and those wonderfull shopping sprees, and our tastes in clothes have undergone a sea change from then... but the bonding remains unbroken. well, then there was abhishek i would be eternally grateful to him for introducing me to the best ice-cream shop in d whole world( now dats a secret;) ........over to my post grads, well there are three prominent names, shikha, shireen and duxie. Shireen and i used to have this set of theories about guys (read men) and were the best agony aunts/dating gurus for each other. Shikha is so amazingly sweet.... we were as close as siblings. Apart from Tap,nemo and my darling sis tumpi, she is the only person who knows me inside out. Even 2day i can unhesitatedly pour out my heart to her..

Here in b school with all these theories and marketing fundas and h.r theories, the little innocent girl in my mind has somehow climbed up a tree and now refuses to look at people in the eye...Neverthless i have grown close to people here, but the depth of my attachment remains untested.. well guys i know almost all of them blog so here goes, aparna and gincy i think you are both crazily wierd and marvellous so please dont change. Nams i admire a lot for her lets-go-and-get-it-done wala funda. kavita because she is so balanced and a stabilising factor in my mad, mad world. Arjun because of his wonderful blogs and comic chatter. Debarshi and minaxi because of our bong-connexion..and beecoz both are such warm humans...
the last 2 and the most important people are not exactly my friends but they have been my strength- always... my lovely sis tumpi i would always love god because he gave me u as a sister.Nemo, for being there for those 6 am alarms (i couldnt have given my third sem exams if not 4 u), yellow duck, those paintings,that stolen rose, the hat and for reasons i cannot comprehend thank you... He is perhaps the per son i had taken for granted ALL of the time. I always believed i had a short memory, but its when u try to 4get someone u love that u understand how powerful memories are. Oh... and before i forget today is the day i first went to live in kolkata and subsequently spent the most wonderful 6 months of my life.
i love u all.....
been reading somewhere---u should not say i love u unless and until u mean it and when u mean it u should say it often. People 4get n its good to remind...

what dost thou think.......

2009-01-06T10:05:00.000-08:00

friends.....
a very very belated happy new year. After some lazyyyy days at the begining of the year i am back again . So how was 2008 for me, umm...... lemme think somewhat like a thikha.... papri chat. It was impossibly delicious but my eyes watered often. Well but then that has a lot to do with me being an eternal optimist. Case in point being, its so easy for me to throw things away. Only a wild optimist throws away what is most precious, whats so rare and satisfying , impossible happiness just because he/ she is so sure that he/ she will find it again around the bend. The gods have always been my best friends but then every passing year keeps on adding oh-so-tiny drops of caution to the fearless magical potion which i call LIFE.......
The best thing which happened to me this year was bimtech.... Now i know what fellow-blogger -bimtechians are going to say to that, what with this being a lousy year for placements and stuff.....But seriously guys, i have met some very hungry people here. They are so alive that they can take an idea and run with it into, like the fifth dimension, and all you have to do is let them make it happen for you, while talking to them i get this feeling like i am the absolute monarch.........
by the way friends, what was the high point of 2007 for u? do lemme know:)....... thou shall comment on it....

a little noise...

2008-12-29T22:33:00.000-08:00

Its an old story with me... Sometimes i am outside taking a walk, trying to mentally sort things out, only to find that my mind is also in constant purposeless motion like my legs. Dont know where i wanted to go, maybe i had known once but the fog is really so thick in december , that i cant find my way now. I want to do something but dont know what it is so i read a few books and then pass a few exams too.......But that didnt make me happy. I tried to think but i wasnt really good at it and i kept on hearing a thumping noise which bothered me.

I was jst becoming sad cause i had no idea from where the answers would come from when i saw the bright cherub- the one who lives in my heart and oh- so -very rarely makes her appearence in my mind sometimes. I asked " cherub cant you stop this thumping noise so that i can figure out where i am supposed to be?" She only laughed " silly girl....... dont u know thats the sound of your own beating heart" listen to it... it will take you home.
But my heart is where my home is, or was it the other way round? i wonder........

jst got thinking......

2008-12-29T06:02:00.000-08:00

hello people

I had wanted to see akshardham for such a long-long time and after a dozen (plans- gone-haywire) i finally saw it yesterday.:) And the effect on us was mesmerizing...... Dont get me wrong, it was not because the deities brought about a sudden fervor in me. (in fact i totally adore the metaphysical concept called GOD but me not religious at all) . It was the sheer beauty of the sculpture.... the perfection of those lines , the expressions which brought the cold marble to life ; every single murti was different- right from the arrogant expressions on the kings face to the ethereal goddesses who were in profusion. Maybe because it was the first time we saw akshardham , me and aparna were totally lost in the sheer magnifecence of the sculpture; when a few shoves and pushes brought us back to life. Then i noticed something strange, people were staring straight ahead just concentrating on the deity and not even stopping to look at the beauty around them. I saw something more sad. There was a young couple pushing their child on a pram inside the temple. Akshardham is not jst a temple, its a work of art ... i cant understand do we allow the public to bring prams inside the taj, the jama masjid or to any of our other historical monuments.

And what by the way are historical monuments and why are we in constant awe of them? Lets consider the Taj, when i saw it for the first time i was spellbounded. But does history always has to be put on a pedestal and the present carelessly squandered? People say the taj is an everlasting monument of love. I think its an everlasting monument to human talent that built it- those50,000 artists who lost their hands. While shah jahan was simply someone with adequate financial resources to fulfill his needs for self actualization, (all fellow mba's refer to maslows pyramid please)
But the world thundered..... this is history, cant you see. Its the absolute limit to all human abilities, which we can never now think of touching, much rather surpassing it. All that lies of our greatness now resides in our past and the past is holy and cannot be challenged. We should not think in any of these directions but just make a bed out of all feathers in our cap and then sleep peacefully. The taj is the absolute limit of artistic expression.
Expression? but whose expression ? Every building or monument has a purpose and a goal and the expression of every ones goal is different. why must something be sacred just by the virtue of our not creating it? why should the present pool of talent be restricted by the absolute dictates of the past? why must every principle and everyone be right as long as it is not us?why is accepting dictates of these "others" so very important? i dont know. i have never known. i would like to understand...........
Sorry if i have ruffled a few feathers. T'was not intentional.

christ-mes-sy thoughts

2008-12-24T12:48:00.000-08:00

merry christmas to all the wonderful people here....... Well i just had a beautiful christmas eve. The air has a crisp chilly smell to it and the world seems to have burst into a profusion of colours-red, green, purple, fuschia........ sweaters. And there were three girls doing their most preffered activity ---shopping. I mean now that i think of it the way we shop is quite amusing. I mean go to a shop, check out something like 24 sweaters, turn around and then fall madly in love with the green curtains hanging in the shop jst across the street and then go there and buy it. The best part was our hunt for that perfect christmas star...well combining the fact that gincy wanted ONLY pastel coloured paper stars and the fact that nothing of this kind was available throughout the entire Atta market. Well finally we got hold of one which met her stringent requirements. And by the way the shops today looked like they had just descended here fron never-never land.It was all decked up bells and wreaths and so many santas with rosy cheeks smiling down on us,
There was somebody here who badly wanted to go home but then didnt get flight tickets . Somebody who was sad and not quite like her usual self today. And then there were five other would- be managers all trying to cheer her up and so they had this brilliant idea of organising a christmas party. Limited resources so they made up whatever was lacking by their imagination, and one of them even captured that special christmas snow effect with cotton wisps.:) amidst the cute little christmas tree which they decorated the smiles returned on the "sad" ones face and she actually became the loudest singer " in the impomptu pajama party. As the strains of "silent night holy night "floated in the air - all voices at varied pitches blending together in flushes of laughter- the true spirit of christmas was realized. case in point being ,i love my new lime green curtains but happy smiles decorate a room better.
hats of to all of us who were there 2day. who says we need to complete our mba to become managers.Huh!
I

crimson ties.......

2008-12-22T00:35:00.000-08:00

Another exam over. wow again:) jst one more to go. Me and nams are currently somewhere on the peak of our efficiency curve, the number of chapters to be studied dont daunt us, we jst keep on sorting and piling everything on to our minds. Thats another matter that the retention ratio is about 25%. Seriously if someone does a survey- on the percentage of time mba students spend in studying we would come somewhere near the bottom of the list that is if u sort and arrange the data in a descending order.
BDW what am i writing? See this is what comes out of studying so much of terrible subjects like stats and finance at the last moment. Need to watch a movie fast in order to purify my brain.
People here in my college are rushing by today with glowing faces all filled with the joy of going home as soon as this one- last-final-akhri exam gets over. Thier excitement is palpable and i too feel a rush of warmth in my heart looking at this scene. See i come from a far- away land and for me going and coming back would comsume all my hols and more... so poor me:(
Which reminds me of the last time i went home. It was 7 days of pure bliss for me. When i was in high s chool i was somewhat a rebel. It was as if every sentence my parents spoke i had to rebel. Time has mellowed me down and now i can grasp- only grasp mind you and not comprehend the totally selfless devoted way in which they love me. Isnt it wonderful , i have two people in the world who belong totally to me. I always careless, forgetting to call, sometimes irritable, snapping back specially at my mom. Sometimes i am so caught up here in my own world that i do not even think of them for times together. An hour ago i stubbed my toe against the table and the first word which escaped my lips was "maa". It was then that i realized how much i miss them and sometimes i feel that it was in those times that i had not thought of them; that i had missed them the most. In our lives we see a range of relationships, from totally chilled out friendships to paissonate affairs to deep filial bonds. As we grow older we start spending more time and our world starts revolving around these people while our parents occupy a backseat in our minds.
Until the day we accidentally stub our toe.
This one was for you maa and baba though i know you dont read blogs.........

lookin....backwrds..

2008-12-20T03:55:00.000-08:00

hello people.....
wow, exams almost over:) im so happy, its almost as if the air seems much fresher and the colours all so much brighter.... and the mere anticipation of my freedom after 2 days brings a smile to my lips every time i think about it. By the way what exactly is it between me and studies, both of us mutually dislike and do our best to avoid each other. Today was my un-favouritest paper financial management. The paper was just out of the world and i actually had to read it twice to believe that somebody could set such a pain to the senses. It was a perfect weapon of torture. I did all kinds of experiments with the answer but i have this feeling that proffesor malhotra would not approve of innovation. Anyways all said and done after the exavem was over the relief visible on all the faces was visible. It was as if we had just given the best exam of our lives.Ten minutes arter the paper we were back to our normal funny selves
Which leads me to wonder.... isnt life so transient? Our greatest sorrows and greatest happiness of our past lives look so ordinary now that we think of it. Remember the first time i rode a bycycle, my first poem, first prize..... oh and yes first time i cooked. I remember how my dad ate the half burnt food with such pure contentment on his face. I will never forget the feeling of elation inside me as if i owned the world. Then there was also my first rejection letter, first red mark on my paper also......my first heartbreak. I had cried as if i would die the next day. And now that i think of it i laugh at both memories. Time is such a great equalizer.... wrapping up every memory in rose pink leaves of nostalgia. All that i believe in now, every feeling, every achievement that i am so passionate about now, this surge of emotion, would this too become pressed flowers which i would fondly caress after ten years?
my first blog in blogger dedicated to the person who created this account for me. Thank you nams..